Tumblelog by Soup.io
Newer posts are loading.
You are at the newest post.
Click here to check if anything new just came in.

January 21 2013

rani

SO YOU WANT ME TO EAT THE GIRLS HE WORKS WITH.

YES. IF I DO ANYTHING IT WILL JUST TURN INTO ANOTHER FIGHT, WHICH I’M TRYING TO AVOID. IF THEY DON’T SHOW UP ON MONDAY … WELL, SHIT HAPPENS, RIGHT? AND MAYBE IT BUYS ME ENOUGH TIME TO REMIND HIM WE’RE IN LOVE.

January 09 2013

rani

You have beautiful shading and your eyes are like swimming pools. I could just float in those things all day.

THAT’S SO WEIRD. I WAS JUST GOING TO SAY THE SAME THING ABOUT YOU.

For real though, what are you? I’ve never seen anything like you. You look like something out of a fairytale.

ARE YOU PSYCHIC? STOP SAYING WHAT I’M GOING TO SAY BEFORE I SAY IT.

rani

“FASTER” I CAN DO! “IN CIRCLES” IS FINE!

“DEEPER” IS JUST NOT GOING TO HAPPEN, OKAY? SO PLEASE STOP SAYING IT!

Reposted byblindtext blindtext
rani

SHARON, PLEASE, I LOVE YOU!

JUST COME OUT AND TALK TO ME!

WE CAN WORK IT OUT, I PROMISE!

SHARON!

SHARON, PLEASE!

Reposted byalenaJaanis93rapetrainblindtextcynamonprosiaczekktickimickiHypothermiakulkacurlyuskidsknowechoessmoke11ubza

January 08 2013

rani

I’M REALLY TERRIBLE AT SUDOKU.

LIKE, HONESTLY. I JUST CAN’T DO IT AT ALL.

June 07 2012

rani

WHERE IS IT?

HONEY, SERIOUSLY. YOU’RE NOT GOING TO FIND ANYTHING.

WHERE’S THE ZIPPER? OR IS IT A BATTERY COMPARTMENT? AN ON/OFF SWITCH? WHAT DO YOU HAVE?

A SCAR OR TWO. A BODACIOUS DERRIERE. THAT’S ABOUT IT.

NO ACTUAL BOYFRIEND REMEMBERS THE WEIRD BRITISH CANDIES I MENTIONED IN PASSING A MONTH AGO AND HAS A CASE OF THEM SHIPPED TO MY WORK WITH A CUTE LITTLE NOTE CARD. YOU’RE A ROBOT, OR AN ALIEN OR SOMETHING.

I JUST THOUGHT YOU MIGHT LIKE-

WHO ARE YOU WORKING FOR? HOW MUCH ARE THEY PAYING YOU?

March 04 2012

rani

IS THAT ALL YOU GOT?

PLEASE. I HAVEN’T EVEN GOTTEN STARTED.

GOOD, BECAUSE YOU KISS LIKE A GIRL.

YOU TAKE THAT BACK.

I’D LIKE TO SEE YOU MAKE ME.

January 24 2012

rani

I WAS JUST ASKING WHY YOU’RE SO UPSET THAT HE’S SEEING SOMEONE ELSE IF YOU DUMPED HIM. I WAS GENUINELY CURIOUS. I’VE NEVER HAD A BOYFRIEND BECAUSE YOU WON’T LET ME OUTSIDE.

CAN YOU LET ME KNOW WHEN YOU’RE DONE THROWING THINGS SO I CAN GET TO MY WATER DISH? I’M REALLY THIRSTY.

January 15 2012

rani
I’M REALLY SORRY TO HEAR THAT. BUT HEY, YOU KNOW WHAT THEY SAY: IF AT FIRST YOU DON’T SUCCEED, FIND OUT WHERE HE LIVES AND WHAT TIME HE GOES TO WORK AND WAIT UNTIL HE’S GONE AND SNEAK IN AND KILL HIS GIRLFRIEND AND HIS GOLDFISH AND TRY, TRY AGAIN.

December 22 2011

rani

HEY.

HEY DRUNKY.

HEY, DRUNKY, SERIOUSLY. YOU CAN’T SLEEP HERE.

SERIOUSLY, THAT’S MY TOILET BUSH AND I REALLY HAVE TO GO.

Reposted fromhairinmy hairinmy

December 21 2011

rani

I WANT TO KISS YOU!

I WANT TO KISS YOU TOO!

HOW DO WE DO THAT?

I’M NOT SURE!

UGH! WHY ARE OUR FACES MADE OUT OF BANANAS?

BECAUSE WE WOULD LOOK RIDICULOUS WITH LIPS!

EXCELLENT POINT! YOU ARE VERY SMART!

THANK YOU! LET’S MASH BANANAS!

December 18 2011

rani

VINCE?

YEAH, HONEY?

AM I THE MOST BEAUTIFUL GIRL IN THE WORLD?

WHAT? I MEAN, YES. OF COURSE YOU ARE.

OBJECTIVELY?

TO ME YOU ARE.

THAT’S NOT WHAT I ASKED, VINCE. AM I LITERALLY THE MOST BEAUTIFUL GIRL IN THE WORLD?

I HAVEN’T MET EVERY GIRL IN THE WORLD, HONEY, BUT YOU’RE VERY PRETTY. SO MAYBE. CAN WE JUST GET BACK TO-

DO YOU WANT TO MEET EVERY GIRL IN THE WORLD?

NO, JESSICA. I DON’T EVEN WANT TO MEET MOST OF THE PEOPLE I WORK WITH. WHY DON’T WE JUST MAKE LOV-

BUT LIKE, IF WE WENT ON VACATION TO A TROPICAL ISLAND DO YOU THINK YOU’D FIND THE LOCALS WITH THEIR DARKER HAIR AND AMPLE BOTTOMS MORE PHYSICALLY DESIRABLE THAN ME?

HONEY, PLEASE. PLEASE. I THINK YOU’RE BEAUTIF-

DO YOU WATCH SEXY VIDEOS ON THE INTERNET WHEN I’M AT WORK?

GOD DAMN IT.

Reposted bytales-of-a-librariantsssKiRaktahsarabearasushi573meno

December 13 2011

rani

SWEET MOTHER OF MERCY IT LOOKS LIKE HE WAS POURED INTO THOSE JEANS.

ALL RIGHT, KEEP YOUR FACE STILL. DON’T LICK YOUR LIPS. GRACE UNDER PRESSURE.


… I WOULD RIDE THAT LIKE A MECHANICAL BULL.

I WOULD BREAK THAT MAN IN HALF.

via animals talking in all caps
Reposted fromhairinmy hairinmy

November 09 2011

rani
COME ON, JUST GO TO WORK. SNAP OUT OF IT.
Reposted fromhairinmy hairinmy

November 06 2011

rani
I’M SORRY, I COULDN’T HEAR WHETHER THAT WAS HOMOPHOBIA OR RACISM! YOU’RE GOING TO HAVE TO SPEAK UP!
WHAT’S THE MATTER? IS IT THE WHOLE GAY THING OR THE FACT THAT IT’S INTERRACIAL? OR IS IT BOTH? IS YOUR BRAIN JUST GOING TO EXPLODE THINKING ABOUT IT? BECAUSE YOUR FACE IS DOING SOMETHING TERRIBLE RIGHT NOW.
STOP TAUNTING HIM. YOU’RE SUCH A DICK SOMETIMES.
SHHHHH. HE STARTED IT.
YOU WANT TO REALLY HAVE YOUR MIND BLOWN? HE DOESN’T EVEN LIKE BASKETBALL AND I’M A YOUTH PASTOR! WE’RE GOING TO GO HOME AND MAKE A STEREOTYPE CONFUSION SWIRL CONE!
I SWEAR TO GOD YOU’RE LIKE A TEENAGER WHEN YOU’RE DRUNK.
IT’S OKAY. HE RAN AWAY. HE PROBABLY HAD TO GO CALL RIPLEY’S BELIEVE IT OR NOT.
I WISH YOU WOULDN’T DO THAT.
I WISH YOU LIKED BASKETBALL. PLAYOFFS START IN TWO WEEKS.
Reposted fromhairinmy hairinmy
Older posts are this way If this message doesn't go away, click anywhere on the page to continue loading posts.
Could not load more posts
Maybe Soup is currently being updated? I'll try again automatically in a few seconds...
Just a second, loading more posts...
You've reached the end.

Don't be the product, buy the product!

Schweinderl